Tribute to Fathers

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Ephesians 5:25-33

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

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Ephesians 6:4/Colossians 3:21
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Ephesians 6:4

4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

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My Daddy! :)
by Annaliza Ziegler at 5 years old/thursday 6/3/99
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Ed, my daddy brings food home and works all day. I like it when He brings home candies because I like the candies he brings home to us. We go to the store with him and we play with daddy and he tickles us, sometimes. Daddy loves playing with us. Daddy plays with shadow, our dog. Whenever he comes home in the car, we always run outside to him and jump because we're happy and we give him hugs and kisses. He picks us up and puts our feet on the ceiling and we love it! When he eats, he shares his food with us. We eat lunch with him sometimes but in the day he works. He travels, too. He gives us things that we don't need, like he gave us his old wallet. We love the stories that Daddy makes up like the little bitty monkey with his brothers and sisters and he's only this tiny. Daddy is a very good teacher. Daddy watches Samo with us. Sometimes he let us come to his work and let us have a coke and warheads. We love going with Daddy at work. We like him. He buys things I like on my birthday. I like the nail polish that he bought me. Sometimes I talk to Daddy and tells him a secret like when we're gonna get another puppy. I think my daddy is handsome and nice. I think Mommy loves him. Mommy and Daddy love each other.

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'Puter Programming
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Dear Sir:

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from the system. I am thinking of going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but un-install does not work on this system. Can you help me!?!

Jonathan Powell

RESPONSE TO LETTER BY TECH SUPPORT UNIT

Dear Sir:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony/Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then re-set button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.

TECH SUPPORT

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Why Men Can't Win :)
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Why Men Can't Win

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

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